Sunshine, ice cream, blue skies...and 100 Denier tights

Ah summertime! The sun is (on occasion!) shining, the breeze is blowing. It's the perfect time to unearth those skirts and shorts that are buried at the bottom of your wardrobe, isn't it? Get a bit of colour and revitalise your legs with some old Vitamin D! Luckily the shame of pasty Irish legs can be tackled with some fake tan, can't it Ladies? Our old friend Sally Hansen to the rescue! Easy Peasy!

Well, not always I'm afraid. In fact there are actually scenarios that Sally is utterly useless.

It's time to see if you can face the ultimate fashion challenge and get away with your trusty black tights in a heat wave.
Because you can't let people see what lies beneath those Penney's black tights...

Only another sufferer can really understand the anxiety summer can bring. Another day, another bruise. Or a scrape, cut or graze. Before you jump to assumptions, I'm not referring to injuries inflicted as a result of abuse. These babies are all badges of the daily struggle of being a walking liability.

This is the life under Murphy's Law.

image via Tumblr

And not the beautiful and inspirational one in the movie Interstellar (shown above).

It's actually more like this:

Many outsiders look at clumsiness as being a little endearing at times and kind of cute. Like watching a baby deer take it's first steps. Even as the little guy stumbles and falls over, it's adorable and nice to watch. Fergie once even sang about being clumsy. But it was also the dumb, cute, hapless kind. And only because she was 'falling' in love (geddit?!). I can confidently say that this song was almost definitely written by somebody who has never experienced real life clumsiness in the entire lives. Like not even a little bit.

Because being clumsy and 'unlucky' is not cute. It's not endearing. It's a pain in the arse.

From the moment I took my first steps, Little Lucy was a hazard. Bumping and knocking into everything and anything that surrounded me. I'm sure my parents concerns were reassured with the idea that I would grow out of it. Because all kids are clumsy. Throw in the fact I was a tomboy meant my clumsiness wasn't a big deal. It was completely normal as it wasn't just me covered in bruises, most of my friends were too. When you're playing rounders at school all day and on your bike playing 'Cops and Robbers', it was pretty normal to come home with a scrape on the knee or various bruises.

But like any part of childhood, you inevitably grow out of it, don't you? And this is exactly what happened with my friends too. Their cuts and bruises becomes less and less until over time they disappeared completely. I, on the other hand, continued the way I had always been, collecting knocks and bruises wherever I went. Counting bumps was such a natural part of my life that I never questioned why I was the way I was.

Adulthood and daily life as a 'Grown Up' (or at least pretending to be!) brought new and unusual ways of achieving scars. I mean, hoovering should be pretty simple. Until you step barefoot on the Hoover plug and need a tetanus trip to the doctor. Even filling a hot water bottle for period pains, that leads to third degree burns and weeks of treatment.
My crowning glory? That was probably the Friday 13th that I got knocked down by a car (for the SECON|D time that year!) and breaking my 4 bones in my foot. A sort of clumsiness Academy Award, if you will, where instead of a gold statute - I got a plaster cast and crutches for 8 weeks!

By now, these stories have become anecdotes and prime examples of my hap hazard life While I can chuckle along now when I tell these stories, these episodes (while being funny to the listener) were also pretty painful and embarrassing. Leaving the house shouldn't require a helmet or stitches. But this is the silent suffering of our kind. Our lives are the example of 'Murphy's Law'. Hazard and strife are attracted to us and in our case, what can go wrong, WILL go wrong.

But that's the consequence of being clumsy. And if your lucky enough to grow out of it, be grateful. After all, the ability to go bare legged in shorts or a skirt on a hot summers day, is one that's denied to many.

Forever in the Sky
Lucy x