Great Expectations

Lets face it: Pressure sucks. Work, social, family and every other kind of pressure is one of the major downsides of growing up nowadays. Trying to please colleagues, relatives, friends and everybody in between can be a pain in the ass sometimes and mastering the big P in these areas can be seriously tricky at times. Many wise ones advise to ignore the sources and try the best you can - because its impossible to please all of the people all of the time.

But what if its you pressuring you?

This seems to be my eternal dilemma. At the age of 29, I am in the final year of my twenties. Being in your twenties is generally a time where you begin your adult life. You're no longer a clueless teenager but you're new to the adult club so its okay for you to take awhile to adjust to your new role. I once read an advice column where the agony aunt responded to a dilemma by a confused reader in her twenties, by pointing out it was okay to be confused because 'your twenties are for figuring things out'.

That's the approach I took to my twenties and happily bobbed along through little experiences and situations without the need to establish myself as a proper adult in a career or a relationship. I was in a blissful bubble and any concerns of my life direction were explained away by my internal reassurance that I was still only in my twenties so it was perfectly normal not to have things figured out.

Well, turns out your twenties go pretty quickly. Like lightening fast. And that little pressure I felt about where I should be in my life is now a pretty big one I feel daily. When I entered my twenties, I knew nothing of what lay ahead of me but I had the reassurance that by the time I reached the eve of turning 30, I would have it all worked out - or at least a good idea of what I wanted of my future and be actively moving forward with my clear plan on how I was going to achieve this.

I always thought moving forward meant big dramatic actions and bold risks and opportunities and it was this thinking that pressurized me more than I thought. Rethinking my thinking is a daily struggle but I now understand that this belief is a truly ridiculous one and worst of all it's mostly inflicted by me onto me. Realizing this came as a shock. Surely I should be able to control my own thoughts? Downside of being an over thinker meant that is a laughable question but I did come to a small conclusion.

Any journey in any path, more often than not, begins with one step. And that's what I'm doing by setting up this blog. Writing is a passion along with many other little things in my life and while I'm a total newbie in the blog world, its my small step forward. And with time, and enough small steps, that  self judgemental voice in my head, might shut the hell up.

Forever in the Sky

Lucy x